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Sue Sparrow
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Vox Hunt: No Dead Bodies, Please!
Show us the trunk of your car
I have 2 vehicles, and neither are clean right now. The Jeep has a brand new dead battery (ugh) so I had to lay the back seats down and use the PT Cruiser to haul hay to the dog kennels. I did put a large trash bag down first, so clean up should be fairly painless. The outside needs cleaning as well, but it is raining, cold and dark here, so I'm not doing either.
Vox Hunt: Black Friday
Show us how you're spending the day after Thanksgiving.
I did what I said I wouldn't do. I went shopping…but it was quite by accident. I actually went out to get hay for the dogs' kennel boxes. The thin film of ice in forming their water buckets tells me it's time now to add hay to their boxes for warmth at night. I can get straw for $4.84/bale, good alfalfa hay is 3x as much, but it doesn't break down to dust as easily, and they can burrow under it for weeks longer before it needs replacing. It feels more like natural grass to them, so it's worth it. I also picked up 4 big, meaty knucklebones – one for each of them to chew some hours away.
Anyway, after I shopped for the dogs, I shopped for myself – at the only store that gives me any fun…the thrift store. Where else can you take twenty dollars and have two hours worth of fun? And, if you get home and don't like anything you bought, you can wash the car with it, or use it for kindling. I was looking for anything to use as a little phone stand of sorts, but I ended up getting other things.
I thought I would be safe…a quick dash into the local thrift store and out, but nooooo. Apparently some people do their Christmas shopping there, too. I could write a whole 'nuther post on the people-watching experience I had waiting 45 minutes in line to buy a used paperback novel. Any other day I would have said "screw this" and left the store, but I really, really liked and wanted my bargains.
I got a beautiful coral sweater, a pretty pink tit sack (my brand and new, with the tags still on), 2 paperback novels, and a cut glass ashtray…all for $6.02. Now I'm having my whiskey and coke, and calling it a good day. Later this evening, I may go to my oldest son's house where we had Thanksgiving dinner last night (he lives catacorner from me 200 paces) and eat leftover duck, dressing, and sweet potatoes. (Gotta make sure I can still fill that tit sack I just bought.)
Board games anyone?
After yesterday's successfully enjoyable Thanksgiving, I've realized it's not the food, the gifts, or any of the tangible attachments to holidays…it's the good times are the hallmark of my small family's infrequent gatherings. I know this sounds silly, but I am looking for a board game that will also keep us amused at Christmas – something everyone would enjoy. Any suggestions? The boys are 31 and 27, and any stragglers attending are usually about their age.
To give you an idea of our twisted interests, we like movies such as Pulp Fiction, Harlem Nights, Full Metal Jacket, Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles…you know, shit that has dialogue we can quote whenever something triggers it. It's not uncommon for us to do this in unison in response to something, then continue the script for 20 more minutes. People look at us oddly when this happens. Our music would be Rock, Contemporary, Jazz, some Alternative, Motown Sound and many other standards. We like to drink, some of us like to smoke tobacco (yes, we're cretins) and all dogs are cool. We say "fuck, fucking, fucker, fucked, fucked-up..and 'fuck you, you fucking fuck' " a lot. We are indeed a strange bunch - higher than average I.Qs, but with remarkably crude tastes.
So, in the interest of good times and the impending Christmas holiday, I'd like to find an actual "sit down and play it" board game that would keep us interested and amused. We would wrap it up with ribbons and bows as a gift to ourselves. Thanks in advance for any and all sincere suggestions, and in advance I wish you all good times.
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QotD: Black Friday
When do you start your holiday shopping?
I abhor shopping crowds so I never venture out until the mad rush is over, and even then, if I can buy online and have it shipped, I will.
My heart has wings…
I love it when he calls me "my dear lady" before we hang up.
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QotD: On Genres
Do you tend to like music in particular genres, or are your tastes all over the place? What are your most and least favorite musical genres?
All over the place. It just depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I'm in a Dave Matthews Band mood – sometimes I'm in Madonna Confessions on a Dance Floor mood. There are times when I need Joe Sample, and times I need Seal…or Tom Petty…or Sarah MacLachlan…or Prince. I tend to lean toward Adult Contemporary, some Alternative Rock, but I love the sound of the 80's, and this is all probably strange for somebody born in 1955, but I could not survive without my music. My soul would literally die. I drive to music, I bathe to music, I sleep to it, wake up to it, eat to it, cry and mourn to it, cook, dance, and sing to music…often; I reflect upon my life past and present with it, find myself within it. It drives the people around me crazy sometimes – except for my oldest son who's a drummer, and pretty much as eaten up as I am.
I've often been asked if I had to give up sight or hearing, which would it be? My hands can see. I'd give up sight before I'd give up the music.
More Turkey Day Etiquette…
Emily's timely post about old-fashioned etiquette during this holiday season of feast and Thanksgiving has inspired me to compose a like offering of my own:
Midwest Ettiquette for Turkey Day
In the spirit of a true Indiana Hoosier Thanksgiving, the following traditions and rules of etiquette should apply:
1. It doesn’t matter how the Turkey Bird is prepared. You may deep fry it, roast it, stick a beer can up it’s ass and bake it – no matter, but you’d better serve the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom/Durkee Fried Onion green bean casserole with it or it won’t be Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, bringing green bean casserole to any social function is a requirement for citizenship in Indiana. So is bacon grease. Find something to cook in it if you want praise for your culinary efforts.
2. Dress code is simple. Men, leave the “wife-beaters” home for this special occasion. You must wear your best flannel shirt, or newest Colts sweatshirt. Camo is acceptable if you’ve just come out of the woods in time for dinner. Be a gentleman and knock most of the mud off your boots before entering the house. Cleaning the axle grease out from under fingernails is optional, but a nice touch, nonetheless. Women who have an angora sweater with sequins on it in a butterfly pattern will gain the speechless admiration of all other women present. It doesn’t have to fit – it is permissible for the sweater to be 2 sizes too small, it only has to glitter to match the heavy blue eye shadow.
3. Dinner conversation can begin with any subject, as long as it eventually leads to the sharing of amazing tales of blood or bowel movements. Some may feign disgust at the topics of blood, but everyone will have a shit story.
4. Drinks. This is not the time for Lite Beer of any brand. It’s Thanksgiving, for heavens’ sake. Spring for a full-bodied beer like Miller Genuine Draft. The snobs in the family will bring their own Killian’s, but as the night grows long, nobody will criticize you if you brought a 24 of Old Style.
5. As soon as the meal is over, the table must be quickly cleared to accommodate the game of Euchre which will immediately ensue, as the pumpkin pies is being served. Note: Empty beer cans do not serve as ashtrays on this day. Somebody will get drunk and try to drink from one. Have legitimate ashtrays on hand – at least 2 for opposite corners of the table. The large ones with the prongs in the middle are best.
6. To avoid excessive fist fighting, do not utter the words “I had her first” or, “you are much bigger than your brother.”
7. Out of respect for the hosts, do not refer to their coonhound in third person. He’s family, and if he happens to be curled up in the recliner when you’re ready to nap, go for the couch instead, or grab the afghan and make a bed on the floor.
8. Do not fight over the remote. If there’s a NASCAR race on, somebody will find it. Be patient.
9. It is perfectly acceptable to go back for seconds by grabbing a clean fork and eating directly out of the pans. No more than 3 at a time in one pan, though. Pushing through as a 4th is rude, and you will be made aware of the fact.
10. To show appreciation at evening’s end, offer to sweep up any broken glass, and have your own Tupperware handy to take home leftovers.
– – – – –
(Emily, I hope you know I'm not making fun of your post (which was quite enlightening) I'm just having a little fun on myself, lol.)
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The best birthday card….ever.
HEEEE!!!! My sister sent me this; it was suppose to arrive on Friday, but it didn't get here until today. No wonder she was disappointed. Anyway, this has to be the best card ever. She didn't sign it or address it – she stuck in into a different envelope because she felt it worthy of re-gifting. I have to agree.
First pic is the cover, second pic is the message, and last pic is the card opened out so you can see the mfgr:
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Jigga wha? (a rant)
I'm kinda miffed. Well, I'm pissed and disappointed.
I hadn't been deer hunting in about 5 years and was all excited about going again. I feel badly about bitching (not enough to stop me from bitching, though) because I was invited along with a person from work to hunt new land. I do appreciate the invite. This is nobody's fault but my own, I suppose. I should have gotten the score up front instead of assuming. The guy I went with is supposedly a big hunter, mostly bow hunting. He didn't get to go bow hunting this year so he asked if I wanted to go during gun season. He had permission to hunt some prime private land, so I jumped at the chance.
He hunted in a stand about 30 yards into the woods, I went in deeper to hunt a hillside in front of a main ravine that leads to a pond (gobs of sign there – scrapes, rubs, and trails). I had put some reflector tacks in the trees the week before so I could get right to the spot in the dark. So, at 6:30am I was in place. About 10:30am he hits me on the radio and says "I'm going to the truck to warm up and have a bite to eat. You wanna go?" (Jigga wha? It was close to 40 degrees out. That's not cold.) I told him no, I was fine. When I get set up, I'm generally in the woods for the day. I won't come back out until it's too dark to shoot. I don't want a bunch of tromping around, it scares the deer off, then I don't get to shoot them, blah, blah.
When he gets back to his stand (2 hours later) he radios me again and says he's gonna take a nap on the ground. (Jigga wha?) Fine with me…at least he will be still. At 2:30 he radios me again and says, "What time do you want to leave the woods?" I go, "When it gets too dark to shoot. The deer will start moving again toward evening." At 4pm he radios me again, and he's ready to go. I pack it up and make my journey out. That's when I asked about the coming days, and then came the sinking feeling that I've got 2 deer tags that won't be filled. No deer summer sausage in this house this winter.
We never saw a single deer all day. No sweat, that's deer hunting. When the day was over and we met up at the trail, he goes, "Well, I had a good time, anyway." I said, "Yup, there's always tomorrow and the weekend of Thanksgiving, and the next weekend. Surely we can get one of these these tags filled." (I had bought a buck and doe tag). Turns out he was leaving the next day (today) to Illinois for this coming week of Thanksgiving, his wife's big "shopping day" is next Saturday, and he won't be back until next Sunday late. When I asked about the third and last weekend, he was non-committal, and looked half-confused. I could tell he hadn't even thought about it. (JIGGA FUCKEN WHA?) I thought this guy was a deer hunter! I'm all horny to kill a deer and I've been cut short. I'm all dressed up and nowhere to go.
I know I shouldn't complain, truly I am grateful for the invite, but I spent $175 to sit in the woods for one stinkin' day!? I got the money out of the bank to pay cash for the processing fee should either of us knock one down. The night before, I'd worked all day and then went straight to their place. I bought groceries and cooked a chili supper for his entire family (mother and mother-in-law included) in appreciation for a couch sleep at their place so that we could load the truck the night before hit the woods early, and not be fartin' around until daylight. To bed at midnight and back up at 3:30am.
Okay, I'm not the toughest person in the world – I'm older and fatter and have a bad knee, but I can still climb a fence and get up a hill with what feels like 50 lbs of clothes, ammo and a seat strapped to my back, and tote a 12-ga with a maglight clenched in my teeth, lol. I swear…some of these guys must squat to pee. He's not a beagler, so I'm thinking therein lies the difference. What beaglers do in a normal day must toughen us a bit. A long drive in the dark, no creature comforts, in the field at daylight, run after dogs all day, come in at dark and then take care of the hounds, knock the dogshit off your boots, and pull 14 ticks off of yourself…and you live with whatever weather you're given and learn to dress accordingly. Don't plan on eating much or sleeping in a comfortable bed. Your bed may be sitting straight up in a truck. Don't plan on running water…of any kind. This is just a routine day for beaglers and field trialers, so to be able to find a nice quiet place in the woods to simply sit for the entire day is a chump trip.
Ok, end rant. I feel badly about bitching. At least I had one day. I'm going to see about going to my old hunting grounds before season is over. Since I don't have a picture of this year's hunt to show you, I will post one of my past hunts. (LOL, check out my big ol' fogged up glasses and dark-dyed hair - this was circa 1993):
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Cheeps 